Getting back into the grove

So it's been just over a year in the new job - well I guess one year two weeks and time has flown by.

The past year has brought me many struggles on a number of fronts but a couple of months ago I saw a light and started to change directions. Trying to find a balance between all or nothing in all areas of my life.  I have gotten back to a really good work schedule - minimal over time compared to too much over time.  I have come back to cooking and not every night but a lot of nights - cooking from scratch a lot of the time too. I have started seeing a nutritionist and she is wonderful. I have started back to my home gym not on a routine basis.

Here are the things I have learned and somethings I still need to work on

• As much as I LOVE to cook I have to learn that it is alright to make Mac and Cheese no one will judge me for making a box of KD - only I will. It sounds silly but since I started this journey one of the most difficult challenges has been accepting that it is ok to not be a rock star chef every night of the week - some nights it is about basic survival and making sure there is supper on the table. I still struggle with this one. 
• Balance at work. I think I've got this one coming closer. This long weekend I had to take some time and go into the office to catch up on work. That being said I committed at the outset that at least one day I would do no work and I would sleep in. Well that's today. I slept to noon, got up watch some Top Chef Canada, made giant apple pancakes for "breakfast" (4:00 pm) and I'm about to make two cakes. But I am taking some time off in the summer to compensate. The monkey is most important  - spending the time I have with her and teaching her is the most important thing.
• Nothing I accomplish in my life will matter if I mess up raising my children
• Balance working out.  5 years ago I weighed ... a lot less than I do now and it is daunting to think about it because I know how much work it took me to get down to that weight and I wasn't done. I let a lot of "things" unnecessary things get in my way of continuing with my success. I also didn't go about it the right way. I kept detail logs of everything - how much I ate, measuring everything - how much I exercised.  It was not sustainable. Plus I find that hard to balance now with my love of cooking all things bad for you. I need to get back to a balance - and I'm getting there the days I have run or walked before work I feel so much better. I just need to remember that feeling.

I'm back though - maybe not as much here and I'll try to be here but balance is hard. 

But I something came up on my memories on Facebook and it reminded me just how far I have come. 

 This picture is from 2014. I was so proud that I had made burritos at home. As you can see I had made the meat and the rice - everything else was store bought and prepared - salsa, guacamole, beans etc.

The picture on the right is from Mother's day 2017.  I asked for a day where I could cook with my daughter and the husband would clean.

Everything on the right is home made:

- marinated flank steak

- corn tortilla's

- warm grilled corn with lime dressing

- guacamole

- salsa

- refried beans 

- pickled red onions 

the only thing store bought was the sour cream and cheese. 

This is a reminder of how far I have come and how far I have yet to go!